i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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