Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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