We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Randomize