If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
