Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize