So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We smell like vodka and hangover
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