Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If I had your ass I would rule the world
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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