Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
