It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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