I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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