yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
