I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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