But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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