careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
