Im at strip club and am horny
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
