Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
