he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
