so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
