she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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