At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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