My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
