what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
