bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
