i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
