We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
