We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Randomize
