girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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