THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We're too hungover to prance.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
