I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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