k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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