I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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