Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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