I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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