There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
