i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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