dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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