I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
