we have officially lost it.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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