Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When are your genitals available?
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