fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
