He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
