You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
