There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize