I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize