i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
