we're blogging at a bar
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
