I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
