remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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