She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
