i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
