how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
