i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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