And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize