Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
