She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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