My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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