I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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