Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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