Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
