i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
