youre lurking in front of me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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