Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
